


We're Here, Now

by gettingaphdinlarry



Series: To Give You a Hand to Hold: Doc and Monster [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, Military Backstory, Tattooed Harry, Tattooed Louis, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:24:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gettingaphdinlarry/pseuds/gettingaphdinlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yeah.” Harry stood in the tub and shook out his arms and wrists, staring only at Louis’ bandages.</p><p>“Hey, look at me.” Louis touched Harry’s chin and tilted it up. Harry’s eyes searched his face while Louis stroked his jaw. “Why are you so nervous?”</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you.” Harry shrugged. “I know, out of all of the things we’ve been though.”</p><p>“This is probably the <em>least</em> scary thing we’ve been though.”</p><p>“If our commanding officers found out I was this nervous over washing a tattoo…” Harry shook his head and chuckled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Here, Now

“You heard me, Styles,” Louis said, tugging his black t-shirt over his head and dropping it on the bathroom floor. “Take it off.”

Harry stood in front of the sink, holding his shirt away from his body. “But what if I don’t like it?”

“Too late if you don’t like it.”

“Shit. Why did we do this?”

“Because we’re crazy.” Louis rubbed the small of Harry’s back and made eye contact with him in the mirror. He brushed his lips against Harry’s ear and whispered, “Take it off.”

Harry clung to the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, wincing as the tape stretched against his skin. He took a deep breath and nodded in the mirror. “OK.”

Louis studied their reflection and smiled. Several overlapping bandages covered the top of his chest and shoulders, while Harry’s stomach was covered in plastic wrap. Jesus, they’d actually done it, after talking about it for weeks. He knotted his hands behind his back because all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Harry’s waist. Instead, he kissed his shoulder blade and then hooked his chin over the top of his shoulder, looking at him in the mirror. “Ready?”

“Yeah. This will be easier in the tub.”

“Lukewarm, Nina said?” Louis stepped away and pulled the shower curtain back. While Harry moved paper towels and soap around at the sink, Louis started the tap, feeling the temperature with his wrist. He pulled off his jeans, leaving him in black briefs. “Your jeans are going to get wet.”

“Nervous to bend over.”

“Come here.” Louis sat on the edge of the tub and gestured. Harry stepped between his knees and tucked some hair behind Louis’ ear. It was longer than it had been in years, and Harry was constantly playing with it. Louis unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them to the floor before he kissed the top of Harry’s thigh. “I can’t believe you wore neon pink undies for your first tattoo.”

“I can’t believe we got fucking tattoos.” Harry took the Dial soap from the sink and held it out. “Tommo, wash up.”

Louis stepped into the tub and crouched down while Harry sat on the edge. They soaped up their hands and Louis lowered the water pressure. “Me first?”

“Yeah.” Harry stood in the tub and shook out his arms and wrists, staring only at Louis’ bandages.

“Hey, look at me.” Louis touched Harry’s chin and tilted it up. Harry’s eyes searched his face while Louis stroked his jaw. “Why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Harry shrugged. “I know, out of all of the things we’ve been though.”

“This is probably the _least_ scary thing we’ve been though.”

“If our commanding officers found out I was this nervous over washing a tattoo…” Harry shook his head and chuckled.

“But we’re free—” Louis started. Harry lifted an eyebrow and tipped his head, silent. Sometimes they were free. Other times, well…they were working on those times. Louis nodded at everything Harry didn’t need to say and tried again. “They’re not here, they won’t know.”

“Nobody knows but us, right?” Harry smiled, his deep dimple showing. “Ready?”

Louis took a deep breath, held it for a second, and exhaled. He kissed Harry on the lips, then nose. “Go.”

Harry reached for the medical tape on the corner of Louis’ shoulder and loosened the edge slowly. He started laughing, a soft bubbling noise filling his throat. “I can’t believe we fucking did this. And so early.”

“I wanted to wait.”

“No reason to wait, right?”

“Yes, yes, you were right,” Louis sang.

They’d argued over it, playfully, for weeks. Why rush when they’d known each other for years? Was it really rushing when they could lose everything? The artwork was done, Nina would keep it on file for a year. They talked over dinner, in the grocery store, while hanging out with Niall and Liam, at the bar.

One evening they sat on the porch playing cards and drinking beer, a light breeze cooling them. In the middle of shuffling the deck, Harry made his last argument: We’re here, now. We can, now.

Louis felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He drained his bottle, took the cards, and dealt them out. Let’s play he said. The next morning he called Nina and made their appointment, taking up a whole day for the both of them. Harry asked if he’d picked their anniversary on purpose. It was the only day she had open Louis lied. Harry had simply laughed, and winked. Oh, really?

When he had one side free, Harry started pulling the bandage off, checking to make sure it wasn’t stuck to Louis’ skin. He closed his eyes, feeling the tape plucking against him in a catch-and-release beat. An energy hummed under his skin. Jesus. “Lou, open your eyes.” Harry dropped the bandage on the tile. “It’s beautiful.”

Louis craned his neck back. He could only see smudges of black ink marching across his chest. “I can’t really see it.”

“You will. Let me wash it. It might sting, OK?” Harry cupped water in his hands and splashed it over the fresh ink. His rubbed his thumb over the place where the tape had been. “It’s sticky, I’m going to try and get it off.”

“It’s not on the tattoo, right?”

“No.” Harry’s fingers rolled over him and Louis closed his eyes, his body swaying gently under his lover’s touch. God, he just wanted to sleep. Nina had said they’d be tired. But immediately after the buzzing of the needle stopped, he felt loose and free. Now the high had worn off and he only wanted to crawl into bed. Try to sleep without a blanket if you can, or wear a t-shirt that can get dirty. You’ll have seepage, she’d said. All Louis wanted to do was spoon Harry, feel his body rise and fall as he slept, but that wouldn’t work tonight. Harry’s fingers stopped kneading his skin and Louis opened his eyes. Harry smiled at him. “Soap next.”

Harry splashed more water over Louis’ chest and then pumped soap into his hands. He gazed at Louis, who nodded. Harry gently rubbed his fingertips over It Is What It Is, spreading the bubbles. Louis sighed. “Doesn’t hurt, it’s OK.”

“Skin’s a tiny bit swollen. It’s…amazing.” Harry brought his face close as he stroked the letters with his thumb. He rinsed the tattoo several times. “Go look in the mirror.”

“No, I’ll wait.”

“Let me dry it then.” Harry patted the tattoo with the paper towels, careful not to rub. “You’re going to love it.”

“What if I hate it?”

Harry laughed and kissed the outside of Louis’ shoulder, far away from the raw skin. “It’s spelled correctly, it’s exactly what you wanted, and it’s facing the world. What’s to hate?”

“I’m not sure.” Louis pinched Harry’s hip and stepped past him, moving closer to the steady drum of the water. “Your turn, switch spots.”

Harry put his hands on his hips and Louis rolled his neck around a few times. He pressed both hands over Harry’s, steadying himself for a moment. He bent over and picked at the corner of the tape. A sharp gasp made him stop and look up, his head cocked. “No, it’s—” Harry took a deep breath. “Shit, now I get it. What if I hate it?”

“You’re not going to.” Louis peeled the tape all the way around and then lifted the plastic wrap away from the large, black butterfly. He crumpled it up and dropped it on the floor. He brushed his fingers over Harry’s skin. “She missed your extra nipples. Well, that’s good. What would I do without them?”

“Leave my extra nipples alone,” Harry said, giggling. He took several breaths and looked down. “Oh my God, it’s huge.”

“It’s OK.”

“She said people only regret going too small, right?” Harry’s voice was thin.

Louis dampened the bright pink flesh and started rubbing the adhesive off. He needed to use more pressure than he expected to roll it off in sticky threads. “Tell me if it hurts.”

“I’m OK.”

Louis looked up at Harry and smiled. “It’s not too big. You wanted this.”

“I just.” Harry inhaled a shuddery breath. “We actually did it.”

“We did. And we’re here now.” Harry’s stomach expanded and collapsed under Louis’ hands and his breathing quickened. Louis wanted to taste his skin but bit his lip instead. The sharp smell of Dial filled his nostrils as he rubbed his palm over Harry’s stomach in small, light circles. Extra ink washed away in streaks. Harry’s skin felt coarse, but he didn’t flinch. Louis studied the butterfly, richly textured in black ink. Harry had sat for so long, calm even when the needle vibrated over his ribs. “I’m proud of us.”

There was a long pause before Harry spoke. “Me, too.”

“I’m afraid of the permanence.”

“What?”

“Not of you, or us. I mean…” Louis glanced at Harry’s green eyes, reassuring him. He started rinsing the raised skin, Harry’s briefs turning a darker pink as water seeped into the waistband. Louis had wanted a mantra; Harry had wanted a symbol. It wasn’t until they’d decided on their own tattoos that they realized how well they fit together. Funny, that. It wasn’t until Louis had almost lost himself that he’d realized how much he fit with Harry. “What if, like, what if seeing it every day makes it meaningless?”

Harry pinched his lower lip between his fingers. “I think the great thing is that the meaning can change as we do. But we’ll always know where they—we—came from.”

Tears pooled in Louis’ eyes and he blinked hard. He turned off the water and stood up slowly. He faced Harry, his eyes still shining. “’Course you’re right.”

Harry grinned and kissed him. Louis tasted the mint of his lip balm, and then he tasted him. He groaned. Harry pulled away and bit his lower lip. “I know.”

Louis patted the tattoo dry. “Ready to see it?”

“Are you? Got some water on yourself…” Harry took another paper towel and dried Louis’ skin once more.

Louis shivered. “Think so.” He stepped out of the tub and held a hand out for Harry, who took it and squeezed hard. “Let’s look.”

They walked to the mirror together. Harry gasped and his eyes widened. “It’s so big.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Both of them, really. Yours goes all the way across.” Louis watched as Harry leaned forward. “It’s so fucking cool!”

“I know.” Louis’ fingers fluttered near his collarbone. “I really want to touch it.”

“Don’t.”

“I know, I won’t.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. But it’s weird. It’s really there.” Louis caught Harry’s eye in the mirror. “I never thought I’d get a tattoo.”

Harry held his stare. “I never thought, well, a lot of things that happened in the last few years.”

Louis turned his body so he was looking at Harry instead of his reflection. He walked his hand down Harry's spine, rocking his palm over each bump, slow and steady. “Damn good point.” He wanted to hug him, wrap his arms around his shoulders, feel Harry's arms against his waist. Press their chests together and feel their heartbeats. It would have to wait. He tugged at the top of Harry’s waistband. “I’m tired.”

Harry turned around and leaned against the sink, palms curled around the edge of the Formica. “Me, too. Nina was right. It wears you out.”

Louis leaned over, careful not to brush his skin against Harry’s. Nina’s words rang in his ears. Open wound, keep clean, don’t touch, always wash your hands first. Harry inhaled sharply. “Not touching,” Louis murmured.

Harry sank back a bit when Louis pressed his lips against his, then he reached forward, and Louis softened. Heat flooded his belly, like it did for the first time six months ago. Like he expected it to six days—six months, six years—from now. He put one hand against Harry’s waist, drumming his fingers. Louis pulled his lower lip between his teeth, nipping the tiniest bit. Harry whined and Louis exhaled with a small chuckle. He pulled away and rested his cheek against his. “Love you, Har.”

His response was hot against Louis’ ear. “I love you, too, Lou.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, a million thanks to [MyOwnSparkNow](http://myownsparknow.tumblr.com/) for making me a better, more honest writer.
> 
> This is a stand alone fic, but can also be read as a companion piece to _To Give You a Hand to Hold._
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://gettingaphdinlarry.tumblr.com/). And look! A rebloggable [picture post](http://gettingaphdinlarry.tumblr.com/post/147125956591/were-here-now-2069-words-by-gettingaphdinlarry)!


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